The First Date

Today is May 28, 2013.  My wife, Kathy, and I had our first date twenty-five years ago today.  Twenty-five years ago, three things were necessary for me to meet the love of my life.

• I would have to almost completely destroy my academic career.
• Kathy would have to choose to take an “average” English class over a more advanced class.
• And, I would have to summon the courage to approach this incredibly gorgeous and intimidating girl.

My life today would be completely if these three things did not occur.  I’d say that serendipity was at play.

There’s a good chance I probably would never have met Kathy if I hadn’t completely screwed up my academic potential in high school.  I started high school in advanced classes and was on my way to a stellar academic career.  For reasons I still don’t quite comprehend, I threw it all away, became a chronic truant, and ended up in an amazing disciplinary school full of caring and supportive teachers and councilors.  Within a few years, I turned it around, caught back up to my graduating class, and ended up back at my original high school.  However, I was no longer in advanced classes and I had to take both 12th grade and 11th grade English in my senior year.  I met Kathy in the 11th grade class; a class she also should never have been attending.  She chose to take the easier “average” class over a more advanced class.

I still remember the first day of that 11th grade English class.  I was sitting in the back of the classroom when I saw Kathy for the first time.  I saw her as soon as she walked into the classroom and I was instantly and completely smitten by this amazingly gorgeous,  16-year old brunette with blue eyes and long legs.  I had to pick my jaw up off of the floor.  Here was my dream girl and she was assigned a seat directly in front of me.  I was never shy around girls and I had a healthy dating life, but Kathy’s beauty just intimidated the hell out of me.  How was I to approach this girl without appearing to be a total fool in front of her and her friends?  I also learned that she was incredibly intelligent.  Oh man this girl was way out of my league.  But I couldn’t take my eyes off of her when she was in my vicinity.  I dreamed about her and thought about her constantly.  I agonized over approaching her every day for most of the school year.  Every day of 11th grade English was misery for that 17-year old boy.

As graduation day approached, I knew my window of opportunity was quickly closing.  I felt in my heart that I HAD to muster the courage or I would regret it for the rest of my life.  I thought of myself in later years, ruminating on that beautiful and intelligent girl and what might have been if only I would have had the balls to make her aware of me.  At that moment, I decided I wasn’t going to be one of these people that would regret things later in life.  I decided to do something; anything!  So I took the more cowardly route and wrote her a note asking her to my prom (of which I had two other dates lined up).  The note was lame but I couldn’t get the courage to approach her in front of her friends.  Potentially screwing over my other two dates was a total dick move as well but I didn’t care at the time.  All I cared about was a chance with Kathy.

Her response to my note?  No.

Apparently she WAS aware of me and my somewhat promiscuous reputation (hey I was full of raging hormones!).  Plus she already had a date to the senior prom.  But what’s this?  She left her number at the bottom of her responding note.  I had an IN!  I called her that night, and stumbling over every word, made a date with her for May 28th, 1988.  I could not believe she was interested!  Somehow I knew that if I could win her over, she would be the only girl for me.  Although it did take awhile for my teenage ego to grow accustomed to her bitingly sarcastic humor.  That was the start of a head-over-heels love affair that continues to this day.  Through much persuasion and conniving on my part, she did attend my senior prom as my date.  I stepped on the feelings of several people in the process, and I feel bad about it to this day, but I now had my dream girl and I wasn’t about to let her go.  It felt amazing to have the most beautiful girl in the school on my arm!

We have rarely been apart since that day.  We had ups and downs early on.  But our commitment grew with the years.  We attended local colleges to remain close to one another, got our first apartment together in the early 90s, and married on October 16, 1998.  Sometimes I take my loved ones for granted when I get absorbed in the day-to-day minutiae of life.  But on days like today, I realize my love for Kathy has grown with the years.  I am incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact that I have a beautiful, intelligent, supportive, caring, loving, and affectionate wife.  I know it’s cliche, but she is one-half of my whole.  When I think of myself, she is always there.  People ask me sometimes how we’ve been able to maintain a loving relationship for so long.  I respond by saying that if you have a high level of love and affection for someone, you can get through almost anything.  Kathy is my dream girl.  How could I NOT want to continue to work through the issues that may come up in our relationship.

Today, I would not have the amazing life experiences of the last 25 years with my “soul mate” nor my two incredibly handsome, affectionate, and intelligent boys if it wasn’t for…

Serendipity.